NO IT ISN'T ALWAYS A CAMRY, THE ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR DRIVES A MAZDA 5

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips) 01/10/2015 at 12:49 • Filed to: None

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Today while driving through my subdivsion, I slow down because there are children playing in the street. What happens next is still blowing my mind. Queen Asshole in her silver Mazda 5 passes me... BECAUSE I SLOWED DOWN FOR KIDS IN THE STREET! She missed them by a couple of feet.

ILLUSTRATION

I am the white blob, asshole is the red blob with her direction, and blue are the children in the street.

Takuro Spirit > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 12:56

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Who the fuck lets their kids play in the street?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 12:58

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It's a small subdivision with not a lot of traffic, usually people know to watch out for kids. I've always thought it was pretty normal. Where else are they supposed to ride their bikes and scooters? Also, there was a parent watching who took off after asshole.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 12:58

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Kids involved? Reminds me of the time when I was travelling to dinner along a twisty hillside route. It's dark, not many street lights and very few cars on the road. We must've been doing nearly 40mph as we round a blind corner when suddenly KIDS PLAYING ON THE ROAD IN FRONT OF BUS STOP, DROP EVERYTHING SLAM ON THE ANCHORS, BLOW THE HORN and proceed to give the kids the death glare as we pass. As we leave, I look in the mirror. Some of the kids go back and play on the road.

Redbulldidlo > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 12:59

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Canadians, Road hockey.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 01/10/2015 at 13:00

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This is a bit of a different situation. The neighborhood is pretty small and it is a dead end, so there isn't much traffic. Plus the speed limit is 20.

Takuro Spirit > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 13:01

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I guess I was spoiled as a kid, always having a sidewalk to play on/ride my bike and scooters on.

I hope the parent caught them. Personally I would have called 911 and followed them as well.

Takuro Spirit > Redbulldidlo 01/10/2015 at 13:01

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GAME ON!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 13:06

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4000lbs/150hp + them taking off in a hurry after I laid down on the horn = not a chance to catch them. Plus, calling the police does nothing.

VonBelmont > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 13:32

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Suburban people?

VonBelmont > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 13:43

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Back in the day (2007) in my old hood, there was a total prick who had a bunch of exotics. Almost daily at 4PM, he'd roar down the road to his house and several times nearly ran me and my friends over. Thankfully, he got arrested for some fraud thing, although I heard he's out of prison now.

Ryan A. > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 14:25

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I lived on a residential dead end with a lot of kids. We played in the street almost every day.

Takuro Spirit > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 14:52

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Call police - tell them you're following a reckless driver that almost ran down some kids - description of vehicle in case you lose them (c'mon, it's a Mazda5, they're not that speedy) - if you have time to follow them - police will probably eventually catch up and pull them over, hopefully issuing a citation.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 15:06

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o wait. ...

what a douche. I used to play in the street.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Takuro Spirit 01/10/2015 at 15:16

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You don't understand the usefulness of Florida Law Enforcement. My parents were once behind a drunk driver for 60 miles. They called the State Trooper's emergency line 4 times. Never showed up. This was on the same section of highway that a drunk had crossed the median and killed 4 the night before. The thought crossed me to call them, but I knew it would be a wasted call. They won't show up until someone is dead.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 01/10/2015 at 20:25

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too bad they weren't her kids. not that i'm wishing for kids to get hurt, but i'll bet that'd slow her roll.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Clown Shoe Pilot 01/10/2015 at 21:08

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Since I can't edit, it was actually King Asshole, but his kids would have witnessed him hit children, since they were in them as well. I discovered that when I met the fucker coming back in to the neighborhood.